Emotional courage & (self-) Leadership
Emotional courage is the willingness to feel everything, including uncomfortable emotions, and it plays a crucial role in leadership.
Feeling joy, happiness, pride, are likeable sensations that we tend to always want more.
But feeling anger, shame, failure or frustration is most of the time unwanted, uncomfortable and avoided to not have to face it. We don’t act the same way when it comes to those emotions.
Most of us are able to tackle things that are not as important. But when it comes to matters that truly matter, we can be blocked, stopped, just by fear to feel failure, anger, or shame if things don't go as planned.
This is true in our relationship with ourselves - but with others too : most of us might also be hesitant to feel other people's emotions and to have to deal with these.
This limits our personal power, our connection to others, and our global (self-)leadership.
Understanding & practicing emotional courage allows us all to free ourselves from limitations and to be able to act bold through the rainbow of emotions that is (business & personal) life.
To develop emotional courage, it is important to accept and allow ourselves to feel all emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. This doesn't mean expressing every emotion all the time, but rather being comfortable with experiencing them.
Emotional courage is about self-leadership and leading others effectively.
There are three dimensions that make up effective leadership:
Being confident in oneself, being connected with others, and being committed to a larger purpose.
These three aspects need to coexist in a person to be a great leader, and emotional courage is crucial to making them work together.
So how can we develop emotional courage in leadership?*
Develop emotional awareness: Cultivate a deeper understanding of your emotions by keeping an emotions journal, practicing mindfulness meditation, and seeking feedback from others. This heightened awareness allows you to better manage and express your emotions in a constructive manner.
Embrace physical sensations: Recognize that emotions are not just mental states but also manifest in physical sensations. Learn to embrace and work with these sensations when experiencing difficult emotions, allowing yourself to process and navigate them effectively.
Embrace uncertainty: Instead of fearing uncertainty, view it as an opportunity for growth and learning. Embracing uncertainty allows leaders to be more adaptable, agile, and open to new possibilities.
Connect through difficult emotions: Acknowledge and embrace difficult emotions as part of the leadership journey. By allowing yourself to feel and express these emotions, you can connect with others on a deeper level, fostering trust and understanding.
Take calculated risks: Develop the courage to take risks by starting with small, manageable risks. This builds confidence and resilience, enabling leaders to make bolder decisions and seize opportunities.
Act boldly: Practice decisive decision-making and take bold action to drive progress and achieve goals. Leaders who act boldly inspire their teams and create a culture of action and innovation.
Foster authenticity: Recognize the importance of telling the truth, even when it may be uncomfortable or unpopular. Authenticity builds trust and credibility, allowing leaders to create an environment where open and honest communication thrives.
In his best-selling book, Peter Bregman suggests several exercises to develop emotional courage:
Practice feeling and resisting temptation: Identify something you want to stop doing but have a hard time resisting. Make the decision to stop doing it and put yourself in a situation that tempts you to do it. Allow yourself to experience the feeling of temptation but don't break your commitment. By increasing your willingness to experience temptation without giving in, you build your emotional courage.
Take calculated risks: Put yourself in situations where the perceived risks are higher than the actual risk. Start with small risks where the consequences are small, but you still feel the same emotions. This helps build your emotional courage and increases your capacity to take bigger risks in the future.
Practice active listening and vulnerability: When you're in a conversation about a topic you feel strongly about, ask questions to the other person instead of trying to share your thoughts. This requires emotional courage to listen to something you disagree with. Additionally, admitting when you don't know something takes courage and vulnerability, but it shows security within you.
By incorporating these exercises into your personal and professional life, you can nurture your emotional courage, enhance your leadership abilities, and create a positive impact on those around you.
Remember, emotional courage is a journey, and with practice and self-reflection, you can continue to develop and grow in this important aspect of leadership.
*Source : “Leading With Emotional Courage: How to Have Hard Conversations, Create Accountability, And Inspire Action On Your Most Important Work” - Peter Bregman
